Being in a long-term relationship feels comfortable and heart-warming. These feelings are great but they can also lead to some problems. Too much comfort with each other can cause the death of passion and the disappearance of sex from the relationship.
It’s nothing but normal for the initial passion to subside through the years. If sex goes missing altogether or you don’t feel fulfilled, you have a problem. There are a number of things you can do to bring sex and passion back in your relationship.
Make Her Feel Like She’s Just Started Dating You
To get her in the mood for more sex, you’ll have to remember the early days of the relationship. What did you do for her? How did you surprise her? Was her excitement and pleasure your main concern? If so, you’ll have to get back to those early phases to rejuvenate your sex life.
Many men are guilty of taking their partner for granted after a certain period of time. The flowers and gifts stop coming. The nice gestures disappear altogether. Sex becomes comfortable and a little bit boring.
Going out on a date, making out in the car or having sex out of the bedroom can all reignite her passion. If you’re willing to give and do a bit of courting, chances are that she’ll reciprocate with the mind-blowing things that she used to do while you were getting to know each other.
Talk To Her About It
It’s very important for the partner that has a higher libido to address the other one about their needs not being met.
Chances are that she has no idea about your feelings. Busy taking care of her career, the kids or other duties, she may not even be thinking about sex. There’s no way for her to know that you feel dissatisfied unless you talk about it.
Two people who love each other will do a lot to accommodate for their partner’s needs. Your lady will probably attempt to get freaky with you more often if she’s aware of the fact that you’re somewhat sexually frustrated.
You’ve been with each other long enough to feel comfortable talking about sex. There’s no need to wait for the right moment or come up with an entire speech in your mind. Just get the facts out there (in a respectful and non-accusatory manner) and start looking for a solution.
Find Out Why She Doesn’t Want To Have Sex
Women are a lot more self-conscious when it comes to their sexuality. If she’s suddenly lost the interest in intimacy, chances are that something’s going on in her head.
Try to figure out what she’s worried about. It could be the changes that her body has undergone after giving birth to a child. It could be the fact that she’s aging and she no longer feels confident. It could also be the fact that you’ve grown too comfortable with her and you no longer try to sweep her off her feet.
If you know the reason for the lack of intimacy, you can initiate necessary to spice things up.
Deal With The Boredom
Do you know why many people in a long-term relationship stop having sex with each other? The answer is simple – the routine gets boring sooner or later. People who have been together for many years will often stop being creative in the bedroom. This means that an exciting activity like sex could eventually get boring.
To make sex special once again, you should definitely consider trying something new.
Attempting to do sexual positions that you’ve never tried in the past can be a lot of fun. The same applies to having sex in a public space or outdoor, bringing a sexual fantasy to reality, using sex toys or even experimenting with a bit of roleplaying.
Sex should never become a series of well-known practices. It should be fresh and exciting. True, making it such will require a bit of effort on your behalf. The outcome, however, will justify every ounce of creativity that you’ve put in diversifying things.
Forget About The Sex Schedule (Or Put One Into Effect)
For some couples, sex is only possible when the kid’s go to bed, when both partners are well-rested and when they don’t have a busy day at the office the next morning. In other words, these couples have a sex schedule.
The best aspect of sex is spontaneity. Forget about your schedule. You can probably squeeze in a quickie in the morning. Attempt to be a bit more spontaneous, even if the spontaneity entails solely oral sex or a bit of fooling around.
For other couples, sex is mirage altogether. In such instances, a sex schedule could be the right start.
When was the last time you had sex with each other? Has it been months? If so, start by setting a sex schedule. You should have sex as often as the two of you feel comfortable – it could be once per two weeks or every other day.
A sex schedule gets you thinking about intimacy. Sooner or later, you’ll internalize it and you’ll start making a bit more time for each other without even thinking about it.
See Your Doctor
On some occasions, a medical problem or aging could be leading to no sex in a relationship.
It’s a good idea for both of you to set up a doctor’s appointment. Physicians will check hormone levels, look for other reproductive problems and common medical conditions that could be leading to a low sex drive.
If no medical issue is established, you may want to consider seeing a sex therapist. Sex therapists often work with couples that have become sexless through the years. They’ll try to figure out why intimacy has disappeared. They’ll also guide you through a series of exercises aimed at building intimacy.
Keeping sex alive in a long-term relationship requires a conscious effort on behalf of both parties involved. Don’t expect it to suddenly materialize itself out of thin air. You’ll have to work for it and you’ll have to overcome problems that may be leading to no sex. If both of you are open to making things better, however, you’ll soon see a positive change.