What’s more important when it comes to flirting with women you like – being handsome or being confident? Psychologists have proven it time and time again, confidence trumps all other personal features when it comes to being successful with the ladies.
Just like women, men are riddled by insecurities. Chances are that you’re dealing with a lot and you have body image issues that are standing in the way of being an assertive guy. If you want to score dates, have lots of sex and eventually find a life partner, you’ll need to work a bit on these issues. Overcoming insecurities and being confident in yourself can have a profoundly positive effect on your love life.
Why Confidence Matters
Let’s define confidence for a start. It’s knowing what you’re good at, knowing your worth and being happy about who you are/what you’ve managed to accomplish in life. Many people have a problem because they constantly undervalue their achievements. They could be put down by others or they may simply think that what they’ve accomplished so far isn’t sufficient.
So, if you think that you are boring and you have nothing to offer to a date, chances are that a woman will feel the same way about you.
It’s very important to differentiate between self-confidence and arrogance. Confidence can be quiet. You know what you’ve accomplished, you’re proud of it but you don’t need to remind the world every five seconds of what you’ve done. Arrogance, on the other hand is loud and obnoxious.
Women are drawn to confidence in men. Men who are certain in their value and their abilities approach dating in a positive way. They’re assertive, they know what they want and they know how to show a lady some good time.
Confidence is a characteristic that’s typically associated with being an alpha male, a leader. Subconsciously, women want to have such men as their partners. They need someone who is capable of accomplishing what they want, someone who is well-established in life.
Uncertainty has the exact opposite effect. Even if you’re a really sweet guy, chances are that your flirtation effects will fail in the absence of some confidence.
Reasons Some Men Lack Confidence
There are several factors that can contribute to the lack of self-confidence in some guys.
Financial status is particularly important. Traditionally, men are perceived as the money earners in families. While this notion has changed a long time ago, men will still feel anxious and even depressed in the absence of a good job and financial resources.
This absence will be felt even more prominently when meeting women who have a successful career and a good income. After all, a guy’s expected to pay the bill after a date. If a guy can’t take a date to a fancy restaurant, chances are that he’ll be lacking confidence.
Body image issues can also be a major confidence destructor. Just like women, men are expected to follow certain societal norms. The Brad Pitts and Jason Stathams of the world are having a negative effect on the everyday guy. After all, how many men can claim that they look like celebrities?
Finally, sexual experience is another important factor. Inexperienced guys can be really shy during dates. They’ll deal with massive performance anxiety. The same applies to men who perceive their penis as being small and the ones who supposedly don’t last long enough in bed. There are certain (unrealistic) expectations when it comes to the potency and sexual performance of guys. Many guys will compare themselves to adult film actors and they’ll certainly fail passing this test.
A lack of self-confidence could also stem from an introverted character, a history of being bullied, past relationship failures and confusion about one’s purpose in life. All of these factors are powerful and some of them may be quite difficult to overcome.
Tips For Building Your Self-Confidence
Even if you’re a shy guy, there are many things you can do to give yourself a confidence boost.
The first one is to get out there and to go on dates more often. Just like every other skill, flirting is mastered through practice. The more you meet with women and the more you interact with them, the easier it will be to overcome the performance anxiety and have a good time.
Go on a couple of dates with people you’re not that into. In this case, the stakes aren’t going to be particularly high. You can use these opportunities as your practice dates. They’ll help you get ready for the big one.
If you’re dealing with body image issues, you’ll need to address those.
Lose some weight if necessary. Get a haircut and improve your wardrobe. Start a male enhancement exercise routine. Kegel exercises can be particularly beneficial for improving your sexual performance and having more control during sex.
Choose a high quality male enhancement supplement. Not only will such a product increase the size of your erect penis, it will also give you more stamina and boost your sex drive. Using such a supplement is a particularly good idea if you know that you’re going to have sex after the date.
The final thing you can do is work on your communication style. Some of the men who’re most successful with women are not the most handsome or ripped guys out there. They’re funny and they know how to tease. Flirting is a game. You should be capable of getting your partner involved. Learn to communicate clearly, work on your body language and come up with a couple of discussion topics prior to the big event. The more you prepare in advance, the easier it will be to go through the date and even to have some fun.
You Can Improve Yourself
Even if you’ve gotten off to a rough start in life, you can improve. Many geeky and nerdy men have become pickup artists later on in life. The trick is to address the issue that’s holding you back. If you’re not prepared to face that problem, chances are that you’re not going to experience serious success.
Many men are the victims of bullying and even abuse during their early years. Are you one of these men? Seeing a psychologist or a counselor can help you address the issues that are making you shy and introverted. You can change the impact of things that have occurred during your childhood or formative years. You can change your body, as well. Some work will be required but the success you’ll experience as a result will definitely pay off.